What To Do When Things Aren't Going Great
WHAT TO DO WHEN THINGS AREN'T GOING GREAT
“I suck at being a mom” It was the text I sent to my husband on a Friday morning. It was only 5:35 am and I felt like a miserable failure to my boys.
I’ve been a mom for 24 years and I’ve had some glorious days where I, in fact, have been “Super mom” You know her right? The cape flapping in the wind, a giant M on her chest. The power stance, hands on hips, shoulders back, head high. I’ve been amazing.
Today was not that day. My head was down, eyes teary and confidence shattered. I forgot how to communicate, I failed at understanding and I’ve failed at saying the right words. I felt like a failure and I was broken-hearted.
Have you ever been there? Do you ever feel like I did that Friday morning?
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” - Psalms 34:18
You don’t know who you’ve become or who your kids have become and how you’ve lost your ability to communicate with them. I think in the teenage years it becomes increasingly difficult to navigate conversation when you just don’t know what to say except something that’s either embarrassing or inaccurate. That Friday I said something that told my son I didn’t have faith In and didn’t trust him I hurt him, I hurt him bad.
As parents we can never take back the things we say and yet we can’t be afraid to speak correction or concern so there’s a fine balance between instruction discipline and love. We want to love our kids and we want them to love us. The bottom line is you won’t always be your kids best friend and you shouldn’t be. But why oh why do I say the wrong thing?
Oh Lord, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.” - Psalms 19:14
“Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.” - Psalms 141:3
We need to be their mom and dad their unconditional support of their unconditional strength and their unconditional love even when love means saying the hard thing. Sometimes love means being wrong and when that happens we have to ask forgiveness.
I wish I had an answer for feeling like a failure because sometimes most of the time (almost all the time) I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I heard it said once that there is nothing that we can do as parents that God can’t fix. But the weight of saying something that hurts my kid is almost unbearable. I trust that the God who created him will give me the wisdom needed to guide and direct him. I have no other Choice but to trust.
I wish kids came with an instruction book don’t you? We need to find a hope and our strength in Jesus. We need to find words of comfort and words of encouragement in His word. Kids are a blessing, but man, parenting is hard! Know that when you’re struggling someone else is struggling right alongside you including the mom or dad that looks like they have it all together. Believe me when I tell you I’m that struggling mom.
Oh for Grace to trust God more!
Please know you are loved, we stand with you in your challenges and we pray for you daily. I pray these scriptures will help you - and I pray knowing we aren’t perfect helps you as well. God is perfect - rest in that perfect love.
“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” - Hebrews 4:12
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” - Matthew 6:33
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” - Philippians 4:8
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” - Philippians 1:6